Poetry from Jesmond Arbour, world-class drunkard

Never let it be said that our Storyslingers writing prompts don’t inspire moments of creative madness. This is a result of last Tuesday’s meeting. The prompt was ‘Scarecrow.’

The Scarecrow
by Jesmond Arbour
Bloody thing-
Stop looking at me!
I’ve only stopped for a second pee.
The third I shall save for Auntie Doris’
And maybe some more for the car park at Morrisons.
What’s that man doing mummy? – a shrill voice cries
PISS OF YER LITTLE SHITE, OR I’LL SMITE YOUR EYES
Oh god, how simple life would be
As a Scarecrow – like this one in front of me.
So in I climb, into the clothes that were, once tied with string around the frame now bare.
The hat with straw sits atop my bonce while the allotment owner shouts:
What the jolly fuck do you think you’re doing, sir?
You can also watch the author himself reading this poem:

Mr Arbour (the author) wanted to add “Where did you get that?  I didn’t write that.  You must be mad sir, this is the work of a deranged drunkard!”
Many thanks to Cobedy for providing the laughs! For more hilarious sketches, check out Cobedy’s video channel here.
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